"Be a Man"

My sister and I, now in our late twenties, still like to sing the funny "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Disney's Mulan. Every once in a while, something will remind us of the song, and we'll adopt our goofy "man" voices and belt it out. The chorus lyrics (by Donny Osmond) are:

Be a man
We must be swift as the coursing river
Be a man
With all the force of a great typhoon
Be a man
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

With the exception of the last line, the characteristics of "man" in this song are related to physical prowess. Even the last line about a man being "mysterious" only seems to indicate that a man should hide something (what he is thinking or feeling, perhaps?). Does being a man really lie in the physical only? Does a man have to be burly to truly "be a man"?

Granted, the men (and one girl) singing the song in the movie are training for battle, so their focus is mostly on becoming physically fit, and rightly so. There can be a problem, though, when we tend to think of the military or similar types of jobs as the truly manly ones and thereby exclude important elements of manliness from our definitions.

I've come across a window decal with two stick figures, one plain and one in military uniform. Under the plain figure are the words "Your bro her."* Under the military figure are the words "My brother." It's fine to support the military, but is lack of strength equivalent to lack of manliness?

What about a man's character, for example? A man can be strong but lack integrity or kindness and therefore not be truly manly at all. Think of a muscly man coming across someone who just dropped a few bags of groceries in the parking lot. Instead of helping, what if he keeps walking, looking the other way? Is he manly?

Or consider wisdom. A man can be strong (and even extremely intelligent) and yet lack wisdom. Maybe he is full of arrogance, takes unnecessary risks, and gambles away his family's finances, leaving them to fend for themselves. Is he manly?

Of course, we can recognize when we think about it that character and wisdom are only two of many elements of manliness. Is physical strength one of them? Yes, on the whole. Generally speaking, men are physically stronger than women (though there are exceptions, of course), and God designed them that way! Their strength can be manly when used in service of the comprehensive masculinity God intends, or it can go against God's design and be used in an utterly unmanly way (such as aggressive, malicious violence).

Perhaps the window decal is referring not to physical strength but to bravery or self-sacrifice required to serve in the military (appropriate characteristics to be admired). Still, I see examples of selfless and courageous men being truly manly in other jobs, such as landscape design and accountancy. Their courage and selflessness show up when they work endless hours for their families, trust God's direction even when it seems crazy, and love their wives and kids even though they are exhausted.

My point is not to downplay the importance of the sacrifice made by those in the military (I cannot imagine the difficulties associated) but to reflect on what truly makes a masculine man. Proverbs 19:22 says, "That which is desirable in a man is his loyalty and unfailing love" (AMP). The ESV says, "What is desired in a man is steadfast love," and the NASB translates what is desired as "kindness." Whatever the translation, clearly an attractive man is a kind, loving, loyal man, who may or may not be physically strong.

*I searched for an image of this decal online and couldn't find it. I learned that the original decal reads "Your brother. My brother." Apparently the version I saw had had one of its "t"s scratched off as a kind of non-thoughtful joke or misguided assertion.